A Life Worth Living — Ash M. Phommasa

Almost two months ago, I developed a severe infection. I had so many toxins and bacteria in my body that I started to develop dozens of ulcers. I couldn’t bear the pain of being on fire every minute of every day— and, in the face of COVID, I couldn’t be hospitalized. I drove myself to at least three hospitals a day because they were all full. When I arrived, the first thing I would hear was, “If you wait here, you’ll never get help.” Behind that stern voice-behind those big entrance doors- would be another voice saying, “Yea, I went to a party recently, and I think I was exposed.” If you were in any real pain, it was just tough luck as to whether or not you would be provided help. Hospitals were busy sites for COVID testing, and I was experiencing so much physical and emotional suffering that I felt there was no life worth living anymore. The doctors didn’t know what I was experiencing and, with every visit, I was prescribed heavier pain medication along with more pills just to fight off its extreme side effects (i.e. nausea, vomiting). I didn’t know where my life was heading, and I didn’t know if there would be one in store for me— but, the fact is: I am here writing this today with new friends, an amazing job helping children, a newfound tradition of “game night Fridays,” and much more. The question is: How? How did I achieve this life I live today?

Everyone wants to know how to find a life that is worth living. Well, believe it or not, this is where science comes in. Today, the psychology world is diving into a relatively new approach known as positive psychology: the scientific study of what makes life most worth living. In this niche sub-field, psychologists work to instill hope, compassion, meaning, and overall life satisfaction within people. Ultimately, this is done by uncovering people’s strengths and promoting their best selves to shine through adversity. This psychology subarea carries a more positive approach compared to what you may know about traditional, Western concerns of psychology (i.e. disease and disorders). Early psychologists followed the medical model, claiming there is something really broken about people that we ought to fix. They ask, “What is wrong with people?” rather than asking, “What is right about people?” Positive psychology takes the latter approach and focuses on people’s strengths and how they can be utilized to move forward. In this essay, I will discuss the evolution of psychology to understand why the positive psychology movement was set forth. Then, I will cover research in this field based upon a course I took called, “The Psychology of Flourishing” at UCSB. Some final things I will consider are common misconceptions of this science and research that addresses these critiques.

In order to truly understand positive psychology, we need to consider the evolution of psychology itself. Although many subareas of psychology do not place a direct focus on human trauma, 20th century applied psychology and psychiatry still seemed to work towards one thing: “to replace neurotic misery with ordinary unhappiness” (Simonton & Baumeister, 2005, p. 99). The goal was to treat individuals who, theoretically, report a negative ten out of ten on a scale of psychological wellness and, eventually, get them to back to zero— to make them ordinary people with ordinary unhappiness like the world majority. This means psychology has typically been about mental illness— about finding a way to understand, diagnose, and treat those who are suffering from psychological abnormalities. For illustration, after World War II (circa 1940), psychologists were charged with the overwhelming responsibility of curing the world’s depression and trauma, among many other prevalent mental disorders. Soldiers were returning home to their families, unable to assimilate back into society because they had developed Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). There was major importance placed on abnormal psychology which aims to “describe, predict, explain, and change abnormal patterns of functioning” (Comer, 2012, p. 2). Thousands of soldiers still suffered even after the war. Hence, psychologists were only concerned with two things: what illness the patient had and how to cure it. This mission was daunting. It is difficult to repair the harm caused by tragedies. After centuries of work, psychological disorders are still highly prevalent. This is why psychologists have been focused primarily on the noble cause of making the world less miserable by treating pathology and mental illness. So, why did we turn to positive psychology in the 21st century?

Martin Seligman, who ignited popular interest in positive psychology, called for the positive psychology movement because the traditional disease-centered approach pushed psychology towards the bleakest parts of the human mind, and away from real, human potential (Lopez et al., 2018, p. 32). In his 2008 TED Talk, Seligman highlighted three major drawbacks for the field: 1) Psychologists became victimologists and pathologizers, allowing for a great loss in autonomy in that clients were not making their own treatment decisions, 2) Psychologists forgot to care for relatively untroubled people who seek happier, more fulfilling lives, and therefore, 3) Psychologists have not studied ways to do this; to develop interventions that promote happiness. These are the reasons why positive psychologists seek to move people from a theoretical rating of zero wellbeing to a ten (out of ten). Positive psychologists explore people’s strengths as well as their weaknesses and vulnerabilities, letting their clients know that their troubles are heard and their strengths are known. This approach encourages people to realize that no matter the obstacle, they still have the capacity to grow. They matter and will always matter.

So, did I get better by focusing on my trauma or by focusing on my strengths? In the end, believing in my strengths and my resilience (my ability to bounce back from anything) allowed me to develop ways to live a fulfilling life, despite the pain. We can analyze my recovery process through the lens of positive psychology and the research that stands by it.

Positive psychology is the scientific study of the human strengths and institutions that drive positive human experiences and flourishing communities (Csikszentmihalyi & Seligman, 2000, p. 5). “To flourish means to live within an optimal range of human functioning, one that connotes goodness, generativity, growth, and resilience” (Frederickson & Losada, 2005, p. 678). In other words, to flourish means to be at your most optimal levels of happiness and content. Martin Seligman identified five core dimensions of human flourishing: 1) Positive emotions, 2) Engagement, 3) Relationships, 4) Meaning, and 5) Achievement. This is known as the PERMA model which has been shown to foster successful interventions which promote wellbeing across multiple domains (Butler & Kern, 2016). This model is a staple way to achieve well-being and is the premise behind UCSB’s Psychology of Flourishing course which is offered as part of the Applied Psychology Minor in the Department of Counseling, Clinical, & School Psychology. We can use the PERMA model to analyze my recovery process.

During the first week of developing my infection, I was in immense physical pain. I was also experiencing psychological exhaustion and helplessness in a world that couldn’t help me. I couldn’t see any potential happiness in a world where I felt this pain— where COVID would never go away. Before my last trip to the hospital, I admitted in defeat: “If the doctors don’t find a way to take my pain away, then I don’t want to live anymore.” When I arrived back home, my sisters watched hopefully as I took my new pain medication. The pain became tolerable, and I was extremely grateful. However, there were still times when I questioned whether life was worth living. I was someone who ranked a negative ten and had reached zero— but I wasn’t better. My physical pain was simply taken away, leaving me to exist as an ordinary person with ordinary unhappiness. I still questioned whether or not there was a good life in store for me. I asked my sisters for ways I could distract myself from these thoughts: “With video games!” they responded in delight.

At that very moment, my sisters began crafting a comfy game room in the heart of the house: the living room. This was during my second week of recovery. It was time to continue taking my medications and wait for my skin to heal. It was still painful, but I was always distracted from it. I was focused on the games my sisters and I played; varying from video games to our oldest board games. Every day, we would sit amongst our cozy couches, throw pillows and blankets, and we would laugh all night. The only pain I could feel was the aching of my stomach from laughing too hard, and the tension in my face from a constant smile. I was focused on the positive emotions surging through our home; our engagement in video games and lifting conversations; the unbreakable relationship my sisters and I had; the meaning and life purpose my family gave me, caring for them as they cared for me, and; finally, my achievement in fighting through the pain one day at a time. This is the PERMA model at work (see Appendix A).

For me, the scientifically established PERMA model was playing out in real life. I experienced positive emotions, engagement in video games, relationship growth, meaning in life, and achievement in the face of adversity. I was content and at my happiest in life because I believed in myself. I believed in my strengths and my resilience. As my TA, Anthony Greco, once said, “Don’t focus on what you cannot change. Focus on moving forward because I know that, eventually, you will get there. Believe that you will get there. That’s all that matters.” Greco shared his own story, being diagnosed with dyslexia among other learning disabilities. It wasn’t something he could change, but Greco realized that it made him resilient. No matter his “flaws” or failures, he chose to believe in himself. My positive psychology professor, Dr. Heidi Zetzer expanded upon this: “A big part of positive psychology is hope; a belief that what I’m doing now will contribute to the future in a good way. We have no knowledge of the future, but we have hope.” And so, I didn’t focus on my trauma or “fixing” what was “broken” in my life. I didn’t wait to “find” a life worth living. I was determined to move forward and make a proactive effort in starting a better life. Everyone has the capacity to do this.

With the pandemic, we all face fear of going out or attending gatherings. We can succumb to helplessness, thinking catastrophic thoughts like, “I am alone. I have no one and the pandemic will never go away.” It helps to realize that life always has its opportunities. Broaden your sources of happiness and adopt a dog or cat. Take this time to mend or strengthen your family relationships as I did. Take this time to strengthen your relationship with yourself and have more relaxing baths. There is always a life worth living, and it isn’t something you just find. Happiness isn’t something you stumble upon when you win the lottery (Sternbergh, 2018). Happiness isn’t the adrenaline rush you feel in such a scenario, but rather a realization of how far you have come and how at peace you feel (Wallis, 2005). Take on a positive, proactive approach to working towards human flourishing and maintaining it.

Today, I still live as my best self because I do what I love. I engage with children and I make new friends who also treasure game nights. I work hard in school to find my meaning and purpose in life. And, most importantly, by doing all of this, I feel I am achieving everything I could ever need in life. My story stands by science, despite common misconceptions of positive psychology being “happy-ology” (Seligman, 2001). This stereotype claims that positive psychologists are naive to real trauma, and that they use the “art of avoidance” to say, “Well, look on the bright side.” However, in no way does positive psychology mean to lessen the significance and pain of human suffering. It does not aim to neglect trauma. Positive psychology is strength- and resilience-based, grounded in neuroscience. It has been integrated into psychotherapy to help individuals and communities thrive. Positive psychologists work to help people increase their buoyancy; to persist and fight back. It considers all the negatives, as well as the positives, with a focus on promoting health. I experienced real trauma and, ultimately, I used a positive approach to recover.

I was able to achieve a fulfilling life because of what I learned in the Psychology of Flourishing class. On our last day together as a class, Dr. Zetzer asked us to write letters to our future selves (see Appendix B). Last week, I received that letter, having just recovered from the hardest time of my life. Reading my own words to myself with love and care was one of the best moments I have had with myself. Later that same day, I bumped into an old classmate from the flourishing course. We both asked, “Did you get your letter? Have you read it?” It felt like we just received our acceptance letters into Hogwarts. We talked for hours about how much of a blessing the course was to us college students who live such chaotic lives. We both pondered the science behind the significance of the course and how it changed us. This is, ultimately, what drove me to write this paper. And so, we discussed Martin Seligman’s thoughts on the disease model and why he started the positive psychology movement. In this subarea of psychology, we aim to ask, “What is right about people?” We focus on people’s strengths and how they can be utilized to move forward. We learned how to achieve and maintain flourishing with Dr. Zetzer’s teachings on the PERMA Model and addressed common misconceptions of the discipline. One major finding here is the importance of hope, compassion, and resilience. These are the characteristics of a healthy community, encouraging the idea to fight through the psychological, biological, industrial, or even socioeconomic conditions you suffer; remember who you are; believe in your future, and; focus on what you can do today to start a better life.

We built a community in the Psychology of Flourishing course. Every week, we would encourage vulnerability, share stories and deep troubles, relate to each other, and empower each other. This taught us how to be empathetic— to hear one another and take in everyone’s “flaws,” but still remind each other of our strengths. For instance, one discussion revolved around the typical college student feeling inadequate, as if they were constantly surrounded by perfect 4.0 students (Scelfo, 2015). This was when I shared the knowledge Anthony Greco gave to me when I felt such a way. I reminded everyone that they were all accepted into UCSB for a reason and would do great things. Dr. Zetzer always praised our contributions to one another, as we continued to build our community, remind each other of who we truly are, and as a result lived as our best selves. In my interview with Dr. Zetzer, she shared, “I love working with students. I love watching them develop both intellectually and emotionally.” When I asked if she used some genius strategy to catalyze this community we had built, she responded in great laughter, “No! No, I did not. Although, I do have a lot of experience in experiential education… It’s so important to feel connected to what you’re learning, so that’s what I wanted to cultivate. Authenticity is also important because it’s not available in most places and it’s so important to be seen. It’s really all about mattering and I think it’s amazing how you all came to matter to each other.”

Butler, J., & Kern, M. L. (2016). The PERMA-Profiler: A brief multidimensional measure of flourishing. International Journal of Wellbeing, 6(3).

Comer, R. J. (2012). Abnormal psychology. Macmillan.

Csikszentmihalyi, M., & Seligman, M. (2000). Positive psychology. American Psychologist, 55(1), 5-14.

Frederickson, B.L., & Losada, M.F. (2005). Positive affect and the complex dynamics of human flourishing. American Psychologist, 60(7), 678-686). http://DOI: 10.1037/0003-066X.60.7.678

Lopez, S. J., Pedrotti, J. T., & Snyder, C. R. (2018). Positive psychology: The scientific and practical explorations of human strengths. Sage publications.

Scelfo, J. (2015, July 27). Suicide on campus and the pressure of perfection. The New York Times. https://www.nytimes.com/2015/08/02/education/edlife/stress-social-media-and-suicide-on-campus.html

Seligman, M. E. P. (2001). Monitor on Psychology, 32, 21.

Simonton, D. K., & Baumeister, R. F. (2005). Positive psychology at the summit. Review of General Psychology, 9(2), 99-102.

Sternbergh, A. (2018, May 29). Here’s your cheat sheet to happiness. The Cut. https://www.thecut.com/2018/05/how-to-be-happy.html

Seligman, M. (2004, February). The new era of positive psychology [Video]. TED Ideas Worth Spreading. https://www.ted.com/talks/martin_seligman_the_new_era_of_positive_psychology?language=en

Wallis, C. (2005, January). The new science of happiness. Time Magazine, 22.

View Appendix A

View Appendix B